oo7.

[feorge]

Harry Potter and the Inevitable Future

Always a specky little prat, a rare and fortuitous day had Harry Potter manning up and pulling the twig out of his arse to tie the knot with one Ginevra Weasley. It was horribly awkward, and the two of them popped out thirty-seven nippers and lived happily ever after.

The End.

Blimey. Whoever wrote this's a real tosspot.

[ooc; Y E P. He is not cursed. :D Also: I am still technically on hiatus but I'm trying to make AC for this month anyway so I will reply to these tags, but expect them to be a little slow. Sorry!]

Comments

[feorge]

Never underestimate the magic of love, mate.

[designedtoparty]

Oh, I don't. What else could make a woman willing to have sex again after going through labour?

I still say thirty-seven sounds excessive. Unless you have kids in litters, then I suppose it's less unreasonable.

[feorge]

D'you mean to say that's not how Muggles have 'em? Sets of six or seven at a time?

[....why do these two encourage each other....]

[designedtoparty]

Not often. I think technically we can have up to eight at a time. Like octopuses. But mostly you're only going to find two at most.

Honestly, I think it's better that way. Don't you think it's a little creepy that you had to fight over your mum's tits? 'Cause unless I'm missing something big, your little sister looks like she's only got the same amount as a regular person.

[Because it's fun. That's why.]

[feorge]

Don't ask me how breast feeding's meant to work. Whole concept's barmy if you ask me.

[There are better things to do with them okok.]

And don't even start on that latter bit, 'cos I'm not going anywhere near that rubbish.

[This is why they are the best of mates.]

[designedtoparty]

Barmy, and sort of creepy when you start thinking about it. I like to think my mum stuck to the bottle, but I've never been too keen on asking.

[Oh, Fred. You should just keep your mouth shut.]

What latter bit? Your sister's tits?

[feorge]

No, I wouldn't imagine so. 's not exactly common, asking your mum about her nips.

[He really should...]

That exact bit, and I'll give you a nice Stinger up the bum if you even think about trying to go anywhere with that.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, don't worry, man. I'll leave all that up to her boyfriend. Maybe I'll even give him a few pointers if he can't manage to work out what to do with them.

[feorge]

And then I'll have both your bollocks strung up for Christmas.

[designedtoparty]

Much as I appreciate you offering to let me in on your customs, I sort of like them where they are.

Ask again next year and I'll let you know where we stand.

[feorge]

Here's hoping you're a full-fledged clansman for all the lovely little perks.

[designedtoparty]

Fingers crossed. I'm also holding out for the ability to grow back my balls.

[feorge]

Now that'd be a mighty useful ability. 'specially with a mouth like yours.

[designedtoparty]

I don't know. I think it'd be more of a novelty than anything. No one ever seems to follow through on that threat.

[feorge]

How does it come as no surprise that you've enough experience to know?

[designedtoparty]

Don't you? I always figured most people have heard it at least once in their lives.

[feorge]

Once or twice, yeah, but threats tend to get a bit more imaginative when you're raised with magic.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, if I could magic I'd be filling people's anuses with those poison ant things all the time.

[feorge]

[SNORT.]

I reckon it's good thing you aren't magic.

[designedtoparty]

Because you know I'd be better?

[feorge]

[Another snort, so bloody attractive.]

Oh, yeah. That's got to be it.

[designedtoparty]

[Watch out, Fred. You keep that up, you're not going to be able to fight off all the ladies who'll come running for you.]

Aw, come on. I'd be great. Can you imagine all the shit I could do?

[feorge]

[They will hear this mating call and They will come. Excellent.]

Trust me, mate. I absolutely can.

[It'd be brilliant.]